Badger Launching Apparatus No 3

Or: How I do so enjoy authorial abuse.

Read more’d for Homestuck update spoilers.

always boasting that red herrings swim through his veins and such

Guys, get it, RED HERRINGS! Clearly this is a combination of:

• Fish puns - which means uu is a troll highblood somehow! Despite the red blood!
• Swedish fish joke, presumably to contrast with Jujubes.

So obviously uuLord English is actually…

Eridan.

PS: I note that in the midst of trolling us, Hussie actually slipped in yet another actual hint via “was he already there”. But I guess I shouldn’t really be bringing that up since it’d be theorizing.